Bonjatvin is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, overgenerous butterfly.

Bonjatvin created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bonjatvin, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bonjatvin, it will turn you into a tree.

Bonjatvin's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Bonjatvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always obey Bonjatvin's priests.

3. Always store bananas above ground.

4. Never curse while facing north.

5. Run away from magenta mites, for they are unholy.