Flapdabvogbass Kimlimcin is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, all-powerful centaur.

Flapdabvogbass Kimlimcin created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapdabvogbass Kimlimcin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flapdabvogbass Kimlimcin, it will throw large rocks at you.

Flapdabvogbass Kimlimcin's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Flapdabvogbass Kimlimcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never curse while facing north.

2. Never think about bacteria.

3. Pray only in firelight.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.