Arp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous unicorn.

Arp created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arp, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Arp, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Arp's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Arp's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Arp.

5. Do not covet oxen.