Dimhapwan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, idiotic otter.

Dimhapwan created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimhapwan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dimhapwan, she will turn you into a dog.

Dimhapwan's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Dimhapwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying wood.

3. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not resist balance.