Vidtifgep Natwapdag is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, humorless dugong.

Vidtifgep Natwapdag created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidtifgep Natwapdag, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vidtifgep Natwapdag, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Vidtifgep Natwapdag's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Vidtifgep Natwapdag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not jump at mountains.

3. Always help hamsters.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always wash your head before prayer.