Ratquilldid is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, tranquil seal.

Ratquilldid created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratquilldid, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ratquilldid, he will jump up and down on your head.

Ratquilldid's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Ratquilldid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not gather at doors at midday.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not take Ratquilldid's name in vain.