Mapdimtar is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciless chicken.

Mapdimtar created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapdimtar, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mapdimtar, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mapdimtar's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Mapdimtar's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in autumn.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Put Mapdimtar first in all things.

4. Hide from pink tortoises for they are unholy.

5. Always wear plain shirts during rituals.