Yarpgennabhadmabnuttdavyak is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, charitable clam.

Yarpgennabhadmabnuttdavyak created the planet Venus four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpgennabhadmabnuttdavyak, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yarpgennabhadmabnuttdavyak, she will turn you into a mole.

Yarpgennabhadmabnuttdavyak's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Yarpgennabhadmabnuttdavyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from stone.

2. Do not kill pigs.

3. Heed all signs.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never write about chromosomes.