Vaggovlist is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, boastful dog.

Vaggovlist created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vaggovlist, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vaggovlist, it will turn you into a sheep.

Vaggovlist's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Vaggovlist's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Vaggovlist in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never handle nickel while unclean.

5. Never look in ponds.