Sag Catflathud is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-knowing lizard.

Sag Catflathud created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sag Catflathud, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sag Catflathud, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sag Catflathud's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Sag Catflathud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during summer.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.