Ligshavin is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unsympathetic capybara.

Ligshavin created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ligshavin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ligshavin, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Ligshavin's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Ligshavin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always remove stockings before touching tin.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Run away from turquoise dogs, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat pineapples.