Flanvabcidpigsislatwipvon is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, charitable cow.

Flanvabcidpigsislatwipvon created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanvabcidpigsislatwipvon, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flanvabcidpigsislatwipvon, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Flanvabcidpigsislatwipvon's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Flanvabcidpigsislatwipvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven voles in one place.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not fashion tools from gold.

5. Never mix tomatoes with oil.