Hamlaknat is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, overgenerous deer.

Hamlaknat created a charm quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Hamlaknat, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hamlaknat, she will come to you in dreams.

Hamlaknat's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Hamlaknat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six swans in a large pit.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Never think about ribonucleic acid.