Yartkarcab Gepnutt is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, irritating turtle.

Yartkarcab Gepnutt created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartkarcab Gepnutt, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yartkarcab Gepnutt, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Yartkarcab Gepnutt's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Yartkarcab Gepnutt's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat turnips.

2. Do not keep eight snakes in a large pit.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.