Stikquimpan is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, resourceful owl.

Stikquimpan created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stikquimpan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Stikquimpan, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Stikquimpan's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Stikquimpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after porpoises.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near mice while wearing gray boots.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.