Farnnarbif is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, generous scorpion.

Farnnarbif created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnnarbif, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Farnnarbif, she will turn you into a snail.

Farnnarbif's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Farnnarbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist balance.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

4. Shun those given to sloth.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.