Bonvining is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, pitiless snake.

Bonvining created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonvining, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bonvining, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bonvining's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Bonvining's Holy Commandments

1. Mice are not to be trusted.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Do not speak about pineapples.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Bonvining on top of all buildings.

5. Do not gather at towers at dusk.