Godlimpin Gessbenwee is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fast wombat.

Godlimpin Gessbenwee created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Godlimpin Gessbenwee, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Godlimpin Gessbenwee, he will manifest in front of you.

Godlimpin Gessbenwee's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Godlimpin Gessbenwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in summer.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching copper.

4. Do not keep three capybaras in a large pit.

5. Never chant while facing west.