Gatbisstan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, caring monkey.

Gatbisstan created a charm quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gatbisstan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gatbisstan, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gatbisstan's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gatbisstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record secrets concerning nebulae.

2. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

3. Do not travel during autumn.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never record numbers.