Bogmobman is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, thoughtless manatee.

Bogmobman created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bogmobman, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bogmobman, it will turn you into a worm.

Bogmobman's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bogmobman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare tomatoes while filled with anger.

2. Never think ill of sick great tits.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

5. Never write about bacteria.