Tarwod is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, self-assured centaur.

Tarwod created tapeworms six million years ago.

If you believe in Tarwod, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tarwod, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tarwod's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Tarwod's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tarwod first in all things.

2. Never write about chlorophyll.

3. Never go into orange rooms.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tarwod.

5. Never mark doors with red.