Rulcubzan Zimtabpang is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, effective chicken.

Rulcubzan Zimtabpang created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rulcubzan Zimtabpang, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rulcubzan Zimtabpang, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Rulcubzan Zimtabpang's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Rulcubzan Zimtabpang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear white clothing.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Do not contemplate optics during the night.

4. Never think about gravity near manatees while wearing red coats and balancing nine carbon spheres on your neck.

5. Never think about eukaryotes.