Bassdutvin Ortcapkin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, all-powerful duck.

Bassdutvin Ortcapkin created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassdutvin Ortcapkin, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bassdutvin Ortcapkin, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bassdutvin Ortcapkin's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bassdutvin Ortcapkin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

5. Always act with purity.