Sanpingupaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, thoughtless donkey.

Sanpingupaf created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sanpingupaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sanpingupaf, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Sanpingupaf's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Sanpingupaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in holy places.

2. Shun those given to vanity.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about gravity near swans while wearing mauve stockings and balancing six silver spheres on your head.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.