Gumflagfun is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, generous narwhal.

Gumflagfun created the Milkyway four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumflagfun, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gumflagfun, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gumflagfun's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Gumflagfun's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never think ill of sick badgers.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about tortoises.

5. You must never eat parsnips.