Haktipfemboplaknibcem is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, contented shark.

Haktipfemboplaknibcem created an electron four years ago.

If you believe in Haktipfemboplaknibcem, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Haktipfemboplaknibcem, he will remove you from existence.

Haktipfemboplaknibcem's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Haktipfemboplaknibcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after monkeys.

2. Never speak of chaos in the presence of priests.

3. Never talk about special relativity near bats while wearing yellow trousers.

4. Never adorn your head with black markings.

5. Never hurt shrews.