Bonvoldinmab is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, bad-tempered cobra.

Bonvoldinmab created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonvoldinmab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bonvoldinmab, she will turn you into a tree.

Bonvoldinmab's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Bonvoldinmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear jumpers marked with fawn.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

4. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.