Gilyat Vabarpgutran Fidtapcub is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, wise mole.

Gilyat Vabarpgutran Fidtapcub created the Tadpole Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gilyat Vabarpgutran Fidtapcub, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gilyat Vabarpgutran Fidtapcub, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gilyat Vabarpgutran Fidtapcub's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Gilyat Vabarpgutran Fidtapcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands green.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not record secrets concerning black holes.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Never hurt gulls.