Riptagbell is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, almighty chinchilla.

Riptagbell created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Riptagbell, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Riptagbell, it will laugh at you.

Riptagbell's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Riptagbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint at crossroads.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about special relativity near ants while wearing black hats and balancing seven carbon spheres on your neck.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Never think about asteroids.