Quimvadsaf is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, dishonourable narwhal.

Quimvadsaf created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Quimvadsaf, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quimvadsaf, it will turn you into a hamster.

Quimvadsaf's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Quimvadsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to swans while wearing white shorts.

2. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

3. Never leap in the presence of voles.

4. Never eat bread.

5. Worship no other gods but Quimvadsaf.