Hastallat Mutxenhot is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, two-faced mink.

Hastallat Mutxenhot created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hastallat Mutxenhot, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hastallat Mutxenhot, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Hastallat Mutxenhot's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Hastallat Mutxenhot's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eukaryotes.

2. Never mention sharks.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never feed lots of turnips to eagles while wearing white stockings.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.