Saftipbankab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, generous weasel.

Saftipbankab created the solar system six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Saftipbankab, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Saftipbankab, he will destroy your home planet.

Saftipbankab's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Saftipbankab's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your chest toward the east during prayer.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

4. Always share coconuts with strangers, but never with gulls.

5. Do not chop down trees.