Sinvedflamyak is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, deceitful fish.

Sinvedflamyak created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sinvedflamyak, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sinvedflamyak, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Sinvedflamyak's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Sinvedflamyak's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

2. Never record names.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Run away if nine doves approach from the north.

5. Do not cook food in pots.