Tinbemweg is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful crane.

Tinbemweg created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinbemweg, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tinbemweg, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tinbemweg's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Tinbemweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to three before sleeping.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Tinbemweg in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never sing in the presence of gulls.

4. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

5. Never adorn your head with turquoise markings.