Tarpnegsis Queegcussbag is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, kind slug.

Tarpnegsis Queegcussbag created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpnegsis Queegcussbag, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tarpnegsis Queegcussbag, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tarpnegsis Queegcussbag's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Tarpnegsis Queegcussbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross forests at dusk.

2. Never feed garlic to swans while wearing rings.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never feed peanuts to seals while wearing blue ear rings.