Dumvanfas is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, vain tapir.

Dumvanfas created gold two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumvanfas, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dumvanfas, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dumvanfas' most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Dumvanfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never stain your hands with magenta.

4. Never paint your chest mauve.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.