Badtoftom is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, fussy dove.

Badtoftom created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Badtoftom, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Badtoftom, it will think nothing of it.

Badtoftom's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Badtoftom's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red hamsters, for they are unholy.

2. Never wear magenta trousers.

3. Do not consume apples at dawn.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.