Pakmad is a god.

She takes the form of a small, happy donkey.

Pakmad created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Pakmad, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pakmad, she will turn you into a plant.

Pakmad's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Pakmad's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all signs.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Always count to nine before sleeping.