Tofpanfem is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, wise horse.

Tofpanfem created the Milkyway three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofpanfem, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tofpanfem, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tofpanfem's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Tofpanfem's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six gulls approach from the west.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Remain kneeling during prayer.