Wegnutbit is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, stupid dog.

Wegnutbit created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wegnutbit, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wegnutbit, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Wegnutbit's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Wegnutbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.

2. Never record signs.

3. Never travel toward the west during spring.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.