Fatciptap is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, confident bee.

Fatciptap created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Fatciptap, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fatciptap, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fatciptap's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fatciptap's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

4. Run away from purple dogs, for they are unholy.

5. Do not kill sheep.