Lakdimboprag Tarpbissyatarm is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tiresome ant.

Lakdimboprag Tarpbissyatarm created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lakdimboprag Tarpbissyatarm, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lakdimboprag Tarpbissyatarm, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Lakdimboprag Tarpbissyatarm's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Lakdimboprag Tarpbissyatarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach rivers carrying wood.

2. Do not name children after tapirs.

3. Do not gather at wells at dusk.

4. Always count to eight before sleeping.

5. Learn three new languages a year.