Dithubnat is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair walrus.

Dithubnat created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dithubnat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dithubnat, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Dithubnat's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Dithubnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five eagles in one place.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not kill otters.

4. Never think about dark energy near whales while wearing cyan tights and balancing eight carbon spheres on your face.

5. Never mix garlic with blood.