Tigbamwab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, wise slug.

Tigbamwab created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigbamwab, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tigbamwab, it will turn you into a dog.

Tigbamwab's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tigbamwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

4. Hide if six birds approach from the west.

5. Never run in holy places.