Zakmidsak is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, all-powerful eagle.

Zakmidsak created dark energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakmidsak, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zakmidsak, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Zakmidsak's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Zakmidsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Do not kill geese.

5. Never laugh in the presence of elders.