Geb Tamspag is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, astonishing goblin.

Geb Tamspag created the cosmos four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Geb Tamspag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Geb Tamspag, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Geb Tamspag's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Geb Tamspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of order in the presence of priests.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Always help sick moths.

4. Do not travel during summer.

5. Always remove coats before touching nickel.