Gudjandag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, stupid bird.

Gudjandag created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Gudjandag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gudjandag, he will turn you into a plant.

Gudjandag's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Gudjandag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Pray only in darkness.

3. Always wear plain shoes during rituals.

4. Never cross mountains at midday.

5. Do not travel during autumn.