Abfotfob is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, bad-tempered pigeon.

Abfotfob created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abfotfob, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Abfotfob, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Abfotfob's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Abfotfob's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in spring.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

3. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.

4. Never wear indigo stockings on sacred days.

5. Heed all portents.