Haswikdim is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, self-assured dog.

Haswikdim created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Haswikdim, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Haswikdim, he will cry a lot.

Haswikdim's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Haswikdim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching aluminium.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always wear turquoise.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.