Satquamlabbinfontom is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, strong wyvern.

Satquamlabbinfontom created humankind nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satquamlabbinfontom, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Satquamlabbinfontom, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Satquamlabbinfontom's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Satquamlabbinfontom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear coats marked with pink.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Manatees are not to be trusted.

4. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

5. Never sit in the presence of tortoises.